Good example in that meme. You are correct in this case because the sentence is phrased as a conditional and ordered. It is in the form “if you, then me”. How someone words something gives you insight for how they think and offended is the right response. This sounds threatening. Imagine a back person saying this to a white police officer. It sounds like, “if you are not nice to me watch out”. You don’t need to be a PoC to see that. But, if you are white you are less likely to read it that way - white privilege, yes.

I would have written, “I don’t care if you’re … rich or poor. I will be nice to you as long as you are nice to me”. Frankly, the meme was probably well intended and the wording I would like is too nuanced for most people to understand the difference.

In my comment I wrote, “"What most (the 99.X percent) will do is treat you as you would like to be treated out of politeness as long as you are polite to them."

In this comment, politeness is in how someone is treated from the start. “As long as” clearly meaning that the person speaking to the trans-person should always be polite initially. It is only when the trans-person is impolite does the obligation of the other person to be polite end.

“..but that first “nice” can be either the initial statement or the reply”. Actually, if it is a reply it is not first. A reply always comes after. It’s kinda in the definition of ‘reply”.

I think I’ve said enough to convince you of your misreading my statement. End of grammar lesson.

Back to my original comment, it is not polite to call people transphobic, especially if it is not the case. That’s my thesis.

It is my interest in protecting the trans people in my life that I push back on overly easily offend trans people who feel the need to lash out at the cis world. It only serves to stigmatise trans people as being like them and is resulting in a backlash - producing more assholes.

In my opinion, the vast majority of MTF and FTM transgender people are struggling to fit in and not too pleased by identity and outrage politics that the author is peddling.

What I am saying to you is that if you have a deep voice people will misgender you. Getting them to change is just too overwhelming a challenge. Life isn’t fair. I’m sorry this is the case. Rather than blame the world and become a perpetually angry person (as the author seems to be, not you) learn coping mechanisms and how to present more like a women. I’m not giving you my cis-person advice. I’m reporting on what happy trans-people tell me works for them. If you disagree, maybe follow some of the moderate transgender voices I recommended.

Thanks for sharing you stories.

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