“Mommy you know I’m only a boy because of my parts, right?”

Good piece. But I’d like to point out that almost all children ask questions about genitals and the relationship to gender classification. It does not mean the child is not “aligned”.

And, I don’t suggest people ask everyone they meet what their pronoun is or make such an issue of it. If someone is obviously presenting as a particular gender, i.e. has a beard, a three-piece suit and goes to the men’s bathroom, you can just use the appropriate gender pronoun. If this bearded woman is offended, it’s her fault for being offended. Once you’ve been told, just use the pronoun they want after they tell you. When in doubt, I ask people how they would like me to refer to them, rather than “what’s your name?”. If they want to provide a pronoun, that’s their chance. If you ask for a pronoun, you risk offending a cis-person who is ambiguous and might not realize it. Or in most situations, you come off as silly or pretentious. We do still care about offending cis-people too, right. Just use common sense to avoid offending people. Don’t use some rulebook. If people get offended when you are trying to be courteous, that’s their problem.

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