You seem to make an argument for not having sex buckets and then an argument for being in the wrong bucket. It seems you actually do want there to be buckets and for you to be accepted into the female bucket. I hope I understood you correctly.
I think you should be free to feel, and label yourself, however you like. And, by the same token, anyone can feel you aren’t in that bucket you feel you are in. There is no factually right or wrong. Scientifically, sex is a collection of traits and there are anomalies. It is a categorisation method not a scientific absolute fact. What we are dealing with is a social challenge, not a biological one.
Socially, the problem for people who don’t fit neatly into male/female buckets is that they are so rare. Let’s just help everyone see that there are a lot more than two buckets. Then you should feel comfortable being in the womanesque bucket, because to claim, as many do, that there is no difference between you and natal woman is a denial of reality - impeding progress towards acceptance of your reality.
So, how does that work? Socially, you are a woman. Everyone in polite company treats you as such. But, if you chose to keep your package, you don’t get to shower with girls. You don’t get be on the women’s track team. Considering how important it is for you to be a woman and have a penis, it seems like a reasonable sacrifice for you to make to not be entitled to those things only natal woman can do.
I’m interested to know if you agree, as many like you do, but don’t dare say so.